Last Wednesday I missed a phone call because I was on a special field trip to Kanki with my youngest daughter. I truly enjoy that field trip because I love hibachi cooked food, she loves the show and we both love spending time together. When i called back the person on the other end proceeded to inquire about the house we are selling. This very pleasant gentleman was sent by the Lord to encourage me and give me hope. Just 2 days prior i had been completely emotionally drained, only 1 day before i watched as the couple i thought would make an offer on our house, completed the inspection on the home 2 doors down that they did actually make an offer to buy. Now, here i am speaking to a man who has no idea our circumstances, has no idea that we are Christians and that we felt lead to follow the Lords call back to Miami and has no idea the emotional roller exhaustion that i recently encountered. In speaking to the man i state that we only have lived in this home approximately 7 months and that we had no idea that we would move so soon but had we known we definitely would not have bought when we did, however plans change and it is what it is. He then says "its timing, it's timing, it sounds like you are being led. I will just say that." I am thinking "WHAT! how do you know that?", I haven't mentioned God, Him calling us or anything else. How in the world does he know we are being led. at that point i say "well actually, We have been called by God to go back to Miami and so that is what we are doing." He says, "And who are we to question the almighty God".
He was an encouragment and I feel the Lord sent him just to give me hope. I don't know if they will buy the house or not (they did come by and see it on Saturday 2/11) but I know that the Lord hasn't forgotten us. We may sell the house and we may not. Maybe it is his plan that we simply rent it I have to believe walk in faith knowing that He will take care of us. He knows my desire and if my desire isn't in line with his plans then my prayer is that He change my desire to sell this house.
Not knowing what will happen with this home in NC leaves me in limbo about our housing situation in Miami. We certainly can't buy a home if we don't sell this one so looking at the inventory available is useless at this point. I don't feel like renting is a viable option because rent is so high (i can buy cheaper than i can rent of course can't buy if i don't have a down payment- its quite the problem) and the reality is that what is on the market to rent today probably won't be there once we move. I have tossed around the option of buying a 2 bedroom condo but that will be really tight for 5 of us. I don't know and can't possibly know what things will look like in 5 months but I am trying to be patient and wait on the Lord. I am praying for faith and peace.
In the meanwhile i will continue to try to sell our big items on craigslist. Since i don't know where we will end up living I feel like the less "stuff" that we have the more options that we will be able to consider when making our decisions for housing.
I had a dream last night that we were buying a house in our old neighborhood in Miami. Its not a bad neighborhood but after living in clearwater and NC my expectations of neighborhoods and house have changed. I just don't look at Miami that same way. If we had greater resources (don't get me wrong the Lord has blessed us over and abundantly what i could ask for) then we could live in some prime areas and my visual issues would not be a problem but since we are average middle class people our choices in Miami are what they are.
I struggle and constantly ask God "Why?" but i don't know if i will get an answer to that. I am thankful for the time and the experiences that we have had outside of Miami the last 6 years and I pray that those things we have learned and experienced will be forever ingrained in my family.
For now I will continue to pray and wait.
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